This past week, there’s been a recurring theme or idea in a lot of my conversations with Jesus, friends, and myself. It’s this: nothing valuable ever comes easy. Conversely: things that come easy, often aren’t of much value. This idea has shown itself true and valuable in several different venues, and I feel the lessons learned are worth sharing. So, here goes!

“The movement of my body was a direct result of the racing of my mind.”

Sometimes, Jesus likes to drop truth bombs on me at really weird, sometimes inopportune times. Case in point, BodyPump class. Specifically, during the bicep track. Even more specifically, during those stupid hard mid-range pulses that make you feel like your arm is either going to explode or fall off, either of which would be a welcome reprieve from the intense burn you’re having to endure for 3-5 minutes straight. Anyway, as I’m enduring this torture I not only show up for voluntarily, but even pay monthly for someone to put me though, I had a flashback of sorts. The Lord reminded me of all the times in the past that I’d start adjusting my stance, my grip, or my timing, when that tension would start to get really uncomfortable. What He showed me was that my body wasn’t the only thing that reacted anxiously in those moments. The movement of my body was a direct result of the racing of my mind. I realized that my thought wasn’t only “How do I make this easier?” but “What am I doing wrong that’s making this so hard?” Maybe it’s a woman thing, or a mom thing, or just a personality thing, but when situations go wrong or get uncomfortable, my gut reaction used to be to think of every possible thing that I had done wrong to create this result. What could I have done differently to avoid this discomfort? What behavior of mine produced this result? Obviously some mistake I had made or was making created this. And while taking responsibility and owning mistakes is important, here’s what I’ve come to understand…Sometimes life is hard. Sometimes situations are uncomfortable. And sometimes, more often than most of us probably dare to even imagine, nobody but the Creator is responsible for creating it. It’s not your fault, it’s part of His plan.

James 1:17 “Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights, who does not change like shifting shadows.”

Isn’t that encouraging? Pain, hardship, challenges, and discomfort are part of God’s working in our lives! Glory! Hallelujah! OK, I realize that’s not the part of Christianity people like to shout and celebrate the most. But I’ll tell you right now that the testimonies we love to hear and praise Jesus about, wouldn’t be possible without some hard things happening in the lives of those testifying. Granted, God is good and gracious, and will drop some of the best blessings into our lap when we least expect them. But even those grace-laden gifts can’t be given until we’re prepared. I know there are doors in my life that God has opened recently that I never would have been equipped to handle and steward well even a year ago. His timing is perfect, and some of the hard thing in my life have prepared me to be more responsible with the good things. He doesn’t waste anything, friends, and even the toughest situations that seem to hold no hope of redemption will be used for His purposes, if you’ll allow it.

“The battle isn’t against flesh and blood, so don’t fight it like it is.”

So, if hardship is not only inevitable, but one of the most fruit-producing tools in our lives, how do we walk through it in a way that isn’t just “white knuckling it” until it passes? How do we still thrive in times of trouble, and learn not only in the hindsight, but in the moment? First of all, be consistent in your time with the Lord. It might seem cliche, but I’ve found the truest things sometimes sound that way. Find time each day to pray and read the Word, then meditate on it. Pick some scriptures that are relevant to your situation, write them down, and put them in a place you’ll see them each day. The battle isn’t against flesh and blood, so don’t fight it like it is. Which leads me to my next piece of advice…

Put that scripture into action and think about your thoughts. You heard me. Our thoughts are always important, but in difficult times, they are crucial. If your marriage is in trouble, you can’t replay the latest fight with your husband over and over, most likely making it worse each time. If you’re having financial struggles, you can’t allow yourself to stew over how jealous you are over all the pictures of the trips your friends are taking that are clogging up your Facebook feed. If you’re depressed or in a season of feeling inadequate, you can’t allow thoughts of comparison to those Instagram “fitness influencers” to eat you up inside. You’ve gotta make a move, sister! Identify those thoughts, take them captive, and CHANGE THEM! You can’t change your husband or dictate what people post on social media, but you darn well can change what you allow to occupy your brain space. THIS is where we take responsibility. You don’t have to think the way you’ve always thought. Replace those destructive thoughts with true, life-giving scripture and make that the soundtrack to your days.

“Don’t miss out on what God may have to say, because you are too proud to ask someone to hear for you for a minute.”

Lastly, don’t walk through it alone. Jesus never intended for us to do life by ourselves, so don’t isolate yourself. I’m not saying blast your junk to the general public and ask for opinions (that would quite possibly be the least helpful thing ever in life), but find a trusted friend or two and be vulnerable. There is absolutely nothing like knowing friends are standing and praying with and for you in a tough season. Make sure these partners are people you are open to feedback from, and allow them to speak into your life. Sometimes, even the strongest of us need others to have faith for us until we feel like we can believe again. Don’t miss out on what God may have to say, because you are too proud to ask someone to hear for you for a minute. If you feel like you don’t have anyone to stand with you, I will. I’m happy to listen to, pray for, and support you however I can.

If you’re in a tough season, I hope this is an encouraging word for you. We’ve all been there before, and we’ll all be there again. Never forget that the tough times are what teach us the most, and often what prepare us for the best.

Yesterday, my oldest baby turned 10…and I can hardly believe it. We celebrated big! Tacos, cake, a bajillion crazy boys in my back yard. It was perfect.

I can so vividly remember being in labor (for a day and a half) with him and wondering all the things. Everything from what he would look like to whether or not I was even ready to be his momma. I remember how deliriously tired Austin and I both were when the ordeal was finally over, ending with him being delivered by c-section after 3 hours of pushing. He broke this momma right in to motherhood.

Isaiah 55:8-9 “‘For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways,’ declares the Lord. ‘As the Heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts higher than your thoughts.'”

Lots of things haven’t gone the way I thought they would, beginning with his grand entry into the world, and that’s so ok. And if there’s anything I’ve learned since I had this little baby boy, it’s that. Things don’t always go as planned. More often than not, things turn out looking zero percent like you thought they would. But also, you always can handle more than you thought, and learn much more than you’d ever expect, in the process. God’s grace is always enough, and His plans are always bigger and better than ours. These are facts, sister.

These are also just a few of the lessons I want to leave my precious boy and his sisters with. Dream big, hard, scary dreams, because He always delivers. Don’t be scared of reaching “too high”, or asking “too much”, because His plans for you are always bigger and better than the ones for yourself. And friend, I’m telling you the same. Dream your dreams, set your goals, and reach high. I can just about promise that it won’t end up looking like you’d planned, but that’s ok, because His ways are higher…and always better.

If you’re anything like me, there are about eleventy billion thoughts running through your mind at any given moment in the day. Mark Gungor uses the analogy of a woman’s brain being like the “internet superhighway”. Everything’s connected, everything seems urgent, and everything is going FAST! And sometimes, even the thinker doesn’t know the best way to control their thoughts.

In the Church, we hear lots of sermons and bible verses about our thought life. What we should be thinking about. What we should NOT be thinking about. And all of this is good information. But what I found in my own life is that I was simply being told to replace “this thought” with “that thought” without really deeply understanding why a healthy thought life was so important. This perpetuated a cycle of helplessness, guilt, shame, and on and on.

So what’s the deal with our thoughts? Why do they matter so much? If they’re just in my head, they can’t really be hurting anyone, right? Oh, sister…let’s talk.

Do not copy the behavior and customs of this world, but let God transform you into a new person by changing the way you think. Then you will learn to know God’s will for you, which is good and pleasing and perfect.
–

Romans 12:2

I’ve worked a lot on my thoughts recently. If you want to lose weight, run a race, write a book, start a business, or take on anything at all that requires long-term change, you just have to. And there’s a lot that I’ve learned (and am continuing to learn) along the way. One of the biggest lessons I’ve learned is that the reason you’re making any choice is what will motivate you to continue to make it. Or not continue to make it, if that reason is only surface or not compelling enough. For me, the thoughts I was thinking were not serving me well. Some were even downright harmful. The bottom line, col, hard truth is that the majority of my thoughts were simply not God-pleasing. And as a result of them not serving me well, they weren’t serving the Kingdom well. Lots of my thoughts were rooted in fear, full of anger, resulting in guilt, shame, and self-loathing. I would bully myself about being a bad mom, an inadequate wife, a flaky friend, a phony Christian. I’ll never be successful. I’m never going to lose this baby weight (yeah, my youngest is 3. It’s fine.) I always give up.

YOU have a choice. I have a choice. What and who will we choose to believe?

Lies. I was telling myself lies. And I was believing them. Do I believe the enemy himself had a part in it? Of course. But I take responsibility for allowing him to gain ground for so long. That’s on me. And that’s on you, sister. He’s the accuser, but we choose to let him get away with continually accusing, without combating him with Truth. He plants seeds, but girl, we tend and water them. When I thought about that in the past, it perpetuated my cycle of guilt and shame. But I’m not here to put that on you, I’m here to flip it on it’s head. YOU have a choice. I have a choice. What and who will we choose to believe? Will we pull the weeds in the garden of our minds, or tend and water them? We do have that much power, but we can sustain the change only when we’re empowered by the Holy Spirit.

…we on our own can’t produce thoughts that are God-pleasing and Kingdom-serving.

Here’s the thing…on our own, our thoughts will never be God-pleasing. Does that mean we never have a kind or loving thought? Of course not. But we on our own can’t produce thoughts that are God-pleasing and Kingdom-serving. Friends, we have the power with Him to change our thoughts, which will change our lives! Will we still have a war to fight in our minds? Yes, ma’am. But Jesus can make it so much less exhausting. The Truth is a powerful weapon.

So, now what? It’s not just about the spiritual principle, right? What’s the practical application, Korie? How? Be honest with yourself. First, own and recognize areas where your thoughts haven’t been serving you, and remind yourself that there is power to change them. Next, commit to actively working on changing your thought life. Don’t forget to remind yourself WHY you’re committing. Then, practice. Just like riding a bike, hitting a baseball, or decorating a cake, you’ve gotta work on the skill. I’ve learned from my Coach that you’re quite literally carving out new pathways in your brain when you’re teaching it to think differently, and that doesn’t happen overnight. Give yourself grace and have patience in the process.

We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ.
-2 Corinthians 10:5

My recommendation is to choose just one area to work on. Maybe it’s your thoughts about yourself that you start with, or your thoughts about your spouse. Your kids, job, Peggy on the PTO, the possibilities are endless. But choose an area and commit to actively changing your thoughts. When thoughts that don’t serve you show up, take those captive and do your best to combat them with Truth. For me, I try to have scripture handy or memorized to respond to lies that creep in. Find what works for you, and make a plan to be prepared. Thoughts can change your life, sister. And there’s power to change your thoughts. Tap into that, and share with us what changes come in your life.